What to Do When You Feel Like Crap About Your Body

Feeling terrible about your body? Did you look in the mirror this morning and recoil? Are you filled with shame and self-loathing when you see pictures of yourself? It can be so difficult in sunny San Diego to grapple with your body image when it seems like everyone is wearing shorts and skirts. You catch yourself in a mirror, and you’re flooded with negative thoughts and emotions about your body. It feels paralyzing and isolating. Whether you have an eating disorder, negative body image sucks.

Body shame is very real. We live in a society that equates how our body looks to our value as people. It has historically been tough for women and increasingly challenging for men as the objectification of bodies increases. It can be especially difficult for non-binary people. For all genders of individuals, society often equates appearance to morality. The dehumanization and oppression in such messages are appalling.

How do you cope with all of this negativity? I have three strategies that can get you on the path to body acceptance. These concepts come from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindful self-compassion.

Strategy #1: Acknowledge the discomfort

Regardless of your body size or type, it’s really hard to feel uncomfortable about the way you look. It’s important to validate your feelings of discontent. Openly admitting to yourself that you feel sad, or angry, or disappointed about your body or particular parts of your body is an important step for moving toward body respect and body acceptance.

Strategy #2: Show self-compassion

After acknowledging the discomfort, it’s time to show compassion toward yourself. Say, “I feel sad about how my body looks, and it’s really hard.” Sit in the sadness and practice radical acceptance. It doesn’t mean that you’re not going to change the way you feel. All it means that for now, you feel sad, angry, frustrated, etc. And that’s perfectly fine. After experiencing the emotions, do some self-care to soothe yourself, like you would soothe a child who feels sad.

Strategy #3: Change your thinking

Now’s the time to switch your thinking, as if you were a train that is switching tracks. Fold a page of paper in half, and then on one column, write down all your negative or unhelpful body image thoughts (often categorized as cognitive distortions). On the other column, write positive or helpful thoughts. For example, an unhelpful thought might be, “I feel so fat. I hate that my thighs look this way.” Helpful thoughts would be, “Fat isn’t a feeling. My thighs are round and strong. My thigh muscles hold me up and get me through all the things I have to do.” Listing out unhelpful thoughts versus helpful thoughts may feel a little uncomfortable and artificial at first, but the more you do it, the more your brain gets used to redirecting your thought patterns from the negative track to the positive track.

Strategy #4: Restructure your beliefs

Our unhelpful thoughts and painful emotions about our bodies often stem from negative core beliefs about (a) what our bodies should look like, (b) how we feel about and value ourselves, and (c) how we define health and success. These three categories can develop from family-of-origin beliefs, often going back generations. These areas also stem from societal messages about what bodies should look like. It’s important first to identify these beliefs and work on changing them. One great philosophy that can help restructure these beliefs is the Health At Every Size® (HAES®) movement. The goal is to advocate and celebrate “bodies of all shapes and sizes, in which body weight is no longer a source of discrimination and where oppressed communities have equal access to the resources and practices that support health and well being” (Association of Size Diversity and Health).

Feeling overwhelmed with all these steps? Finding a therapist—especially an eating disorder therapist—can help. Good eating disorder therapists in San Diego and elsewhere have extensive training on body image issues. I also suggest that you find a HAES®-informed eating disorder therapist. They can help you find your path to body acceptance!

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Hey everyone, I really appreciate you reading my blog!  Have a wonderful day. :)  

Marianne 

If you are struggling to find eating disorder treatment with help with binge eating in San Diego, schedule a free, 15-minute phone consultation using the online scheduler (just click on the orange button), and I will help you get where you need to be! 

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