Let’s Talk Eating Disorder Awareness with Full of Beans UK Podcaster Hannah Hickinbotham, MSc

I’m so excited for you to get to know Hannah Hickinbotham, MSc. Hannah (or “Han”) is a podcaster in the United Kingdom (UK). She is an eating disorder awareness advocate. One thing I love about Hannah is that she not only has this amazing podcast called Full of Beans (I adore the name so much, I can’t even tell you!), she also holds an eating disorder researcher’s perspective AND her own lived experience as recovered from an eating disorder. That’s totally speaking my language. Enjoy getting to know her and tapping into her amazing resources! When you’re ready to read more, check out our site!

How long have you been interested in eating disorder awareness in the United Kingdom (UK)?

I developed an eating disorder around the age of 14, and I was diagnosed with Atypical Anorexia. There’s a lot of stigma surrounded eating disorders, and one thing I definitely internalized during my treatment was that my weight wasn’t low enough to be “deserving” of treatment. I ended up leaving the treatment, and I tried to go my own way. I didn’t really “recover” but more lived a maintainable life with my eating disorder always at my side. When I graduated from Warwick University, I decided to do a masters in Eating Disorders and Clinical Nutrition. While I did this masters, I realized that there are so many more stigmas surrounding eating disorders than just the weight aspect, and so I felt really motivated to help spread the awareness of eating disorders and how they can present themselves in such different ways in any individual, and that anyone experiencing distress from an eating disorder requires support.

What is your education and background?

I completed my BSc (Bachelors of Science) in Biomedical Science at Warwick Univeristy, then my MSc (Masters of Science) in Eating Disorders and Clinical Nutrition at UCL. I have worked as a research assistant at ORRI (private eating disorder clinic in London), held workshops and produced resources for First Steps ED (eating disorder charity), and now host Full of Beans, an awareness organization holding weekly podcasts and eating disorder awareness workshops.

Share a little about what your eating disorder awareness organization offers.

Full of Beans was started as a place for individuals to share their unique stories. This can be individuals who have lived experience of eating disorder, or someone who has supported someone with their recovery. We also speak to clinicians and researchers working in the eating disorder area, in order to get a broad range of perspectives and insight.

We hold weekly podcast episodes with these individuals and take a deep dive into their experience. Sometimes this will focus on a specific aspect of an eating disorder, or we might discuss a therapeutic treatment, or an area of research someone has been looking into.

For me, these conversations are really important. Not only for those in recovery or with an eating disorder to feel less alone and more hopeful, but also for those without an eating disorder. It allows individuals to understand how it can be to live with an eating disorder, the struggles people face, and how we can support people. I know this has been really helpful for a lot of clinicians and loved ones to better support their clients and loved ones, respectively.

I love how on your website you wrote learning from "lived experience and research." Would you tell us what that means and how it's helpful for folks with eating disorders?

Lived experience, clinical experience, and research are all such important aspects. I think having a space to explore all of these areas, sometimes more than one in an episode, allows listeners to get a broad perspective rather than focusing on one element.

As a researcher with lived experience myself, I know the importance of aligning with evidence-based research in order to share factual information with the listeners, and I think it also allows us to broaden our perspective rather than just knowing about our own experience. And that’s why I think it’s so important to have people speaking about their lived experience too, because we are all so unique so one way of treatment or support may be useful for one person, but useless for another. It’s so important to recognize our experiences are all so unique, and although that makes recovery so much more complex, it can be really interesting to hear and learn about.

In addition, when we think about the development of new treatment options, it’s important to consider all these options so that the treatment is going to be useful for the client, but also has evidence-based and will be sustainable in a clinical setting.

What is one thing you wish people struggling with eating disorders knew?

That recovery comes from within. I actually went on holiday last week, and we were in the caves and my boyfriend wanted to jump into the sea. I stood at the top of the cave and I was literally shaking and just kept peering over the edge and thought, I actually can’t do this. As I stood there, with my boyfriend (and a boat full of tourists, and others exploring the caves) cheering me on, I just didn’t think I could do it. I was so terrified of the unknown, and my mind just kept racing about what will happen when I jumped. I walked back and forth a few times and then after about 5 minutes, I just closed my eyes and jumped. It wasn’t the prettiest of jumps, I slapped my bum on the water and I screamed very loud, but I did it. I had the encouragement of so many around me, but ultimately I had to make the decision to jump.

What I’m trying to say is that recovery from the outside looks so scary, you can keep peering off into the darkness as much as you want, but at some point you will need to make the decision to jump. The longer you stare at it, the worse it gets, and you might as well just dive on in and see what awaits you. And if it’s anything like this analogy, it’ll be scary, but the worst part will be the initial jump and what comes after will feel incredible.

I love your Full of Beans podcast. Would you share one memorable episode?

My most memorable podcast episode was with Carolina Mountford that I called “I am enough”. I recorded it at a point I was doing well with recovery but felt a bit stuck. She speaks about recovery being like climbing a mountain, and you can have people walk up with you, you can take breaks and appreciate the scenery, but the best place to get to is the peak. And the peak is always the hardest, because you’re so tired and exhausted, but it’s so worth it when you reach it.

It's the only time I’ve cried during a podcast, and I was so inspired by Carolina (and still am today).

How can people learn more about what you do and listen to the Full of Beans podcast!

You can follow me on Instagram @thefobpodcast or on Facebook or on Twitter.

Check out my website here.

You can listen to the podcast on Apple or Spotify.

What is one thing about you that most people don't know.

Eating disorders don’t have a “look.” I think I still internalize this myself, if I’m honest. But in my opinion, anyone being affected by food/body deserves help, and I only hope one day we can get to a place when help can be received by all.

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