Five Details on Dodging Depression in Eating Disorder Recovery
Struggling with getting out of bed in the morning? Crying a lot and feeling lethargic? Struggling with finding pleasure in activities that you used to love? You may be suffering from clinical depression. The sun can be bright, and the palm trees swaying in the wind as you go about your life in San Diego, but you still feel sad. It can really, really suck—especially when you’re recovering from an eating disorder.
Depression is very typical in people with eating disorders. It is a common co-occurring or co-morbid mental disorder in individuals struggling with anorexia (AN), bulimia (BN), binge eating disorder (BED), and other specified feeding or eating disorders (OSFED). Having depression when you’re living in such a stunning location like San Diego can be especially challenging, as the disparity between what you’re feeling and the “beautiful life” others seem to be living can be hard to bear.
In this post, I’ve detailed five strategies that can help you cope with depression in your eating disorder recovery. I grappled with depression when I was at my undergrad program. Well-meaning people said some pretty unhelpful things to me; such as, “just pray more, and you’ll feel better,” or “walking will make it go away,” and the ever-crappy, “life’s not fair; you just have to live with it.” For those of you suffering from depression you know how invalidating such statements can be.
Sometimes, by trying to encourage us, people can unintentionally communicate the message that something is wrong with us because we feel depressed. That is absolutely untrue. Depression is a clinical, often genetically predisposed condition that needs serious treatment. It’s not something that can be prayed away. So, please know that these five tips will neither minimize nor invalidate your experience. I know how dark things can get—and I want to give you some hope.
#1—Validate your feelings.
When you feel depressed, you may have a lot of negative thoughts coming up about yourself. These negative thoughts are part of the depression. I promise that you’re not lazy, unmotivated, or even crazy. You’re simply suffering from a clinical condition that millions of Americans face. Part of the depression is facing an avalanche of negative thoughts. One way to block this avalanche is validate your emotions.
You may feel intense sadness, hopelessness, and despair. You may even feel as though you want to die. It’s an absolute nightmare. So tell yourself how awful it is that you’re feeling this way. Sat, “All of these feelings really SUCK, and it means I have clinical depression.” Practice radical acceptance that there’s depression in your life.
#2—Tell your loved ones.
Depression can feel completely isolating. The last thing you want to do is to share it with others. You can feel overcome with shame. Well, the best antidote to shame is being vulnerable with people who love you. So tell someone. Let them know how much you’re struggling—how hopeless you feel. Reach out for help, and let them hug you and support you.
Be very intentional, however, about who you choose to tell about your depression. Make sure that you tell someone who knows about your eating disorder and can handle that you’re also feeling really, really down. My guess is at least one person in your life who can do that for you. You’ll be amazed at the relief you feel when you let them know how much you’re hurting.
#3—Get professional help.
Getting professional help is KEY to overcoming depression. The best prognosis for depression occurs when people get both therapy and medication. When I felt depressed in college, I started therapy, and then when it seemed as though therapy wasn’t quite cutting it, I saw a psychiatrist who put me on an antidepressant medication. Those two treatment components helped me work though the depression and heal from it.
I recommend that people see a psychiatrist for antidepressant medication instead of your primary care physician. The reason is because psychopharmacology is a very complex branch of medicine—it’s not just like giving someone an antibiotic for an infection. It is very nuanced, and it’s important to have a professional on your treatment team who can navigate the nuances.
#4—Engage in self-compassion.
Having both an eating disorder and depression is really, really hard. You’re already feeling like crap about food and about your body, and adding depression to the mix can be really overwhelming. It’s not only your mind that feels heavy—your body feels lethargic as well. Engaging in self-compassion is vital to your recovery. I know that your mind is filled with negative thoughts, and it may feel impossible to show yourself compassion.
So start small. Say, “I know I feel depressed, and it really sucks.” Then state, “Having depression while in eating disorder recovery is incredibly difficult, and I’m really struggling.” Put your arms around yourself and give yourself a hug. Then ask your loved one for a hug. Hug your pet. Physical touch is incredibly validating, and it can help you feel safe. So give yourself the gift of self-compassion.
#5—Trust the process.
Depression can take a while to lift. It’s like you’re driving though a long, dark tunnel, and you can’t see any light. I want to give you hope that with good treatment, you can escape the darkness and be filled with light again. The thing to remember is to be patient. I know it’s difficult when you feel so terrible, especially when you’re grappling with the eating disorder at the same time. It really feels paralyzing.
If you’re struggling with this deep, debilitating hopelessness and helplessness, put your trust in someone who believes you will get better. Whether it’s your therapist, your psychiatrist, or your loved one—if you can’t feel like things will improve, let the other person trust the process for you. Over time, bit by bit, you will start to believe it too.
________________________________________________________________________________
Hey all, thanks for reading my blog! I hope you have a fantastic day. :)
Marianne 😊
Join me LIVE with my FREE virtual Masterclass: The Ultimate Training to Break Free from the Binge Eating Cycle. It’s on Tuesday, September 13th, from 12 pm to 1 pm Pacific Time!
🐳🐳🐳
If you want to take the next step toward eating disorder recovery and find out more about bulimia, eating disorder treatment, ARFID, binge eating, and many other eating disorders in San Diego, check out the resources on my website, including previous blog posts, as well as my guest-speaking gigs on podcasts.
Also, you can check out my posts on Instagram @drmariannemiller, my Facebook page, or Twitter.