An Open Letter to Parents of Teens and Young Adults With ARFID in 2024

This blog post is an open letter to parents with kids with ARFID (avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder). Whether your child is young, a teen, or even a young adult, it’s important to know the complexities of ARFID and acknowledge the difficulties that all eating disorders have on the family system. Regardless of whether you live in San Diego, California, in NYC, or in London, UK, finding the right ARFID help is key.

For parents with children with ARFID, it can be really tough.

It's often difficult to know how to respond when your child struggles with selective eating.

Do you push food on them? Do you follow their lead when it comes to food and eating? Or, do you move forward into food chaining, in which you introduce foods similar to what they already eat?

There's a lot of mental gymnastics going on.

I want parents to know one thing: It's not your fault. You didn't cause ARFID to develop in your child.

Regardless of whether you pushed food on them or whether you let them take the lead, it's vital to know that ARFID, like all eating disorders, is a brain disorder. There is a HUGE biological basis for it (up to 79%, according to one identical twin study).

That said, it's important to find appropriate help for your child or teen's ARFID, as there are so many co-occurring mental disorders that can show up, such as anxiety, OCD, and PTSD.

Also, your levels of anxiety around your child's eating patterns can influence the degree to which they respond to that anxiety, so it's important to do a lot of self-care on your end so that when your kiddo says that they want chicken nuggets for the 10,000th time, you can respond calmly to them. Getting your own therapist can be helpful, as well as educating yourself on ARFID.

(Again--it's important to remember that it's not your fault. It's totally understandable that you feel anxious about it! Lots of room for self-compassion here.)

In addition to finding an experienced ARFID therapist, it's also important to reach out to an ARFID dietitian to help with weight restoration, if necessary, and to work on expanding food variety. Also, I recommend getting a full physical and lab work up to ensure that your child is stable enough for outpatient treatment.

Feeling overwhelmed and don't know where to start? Keep your eyes peeled for my ARFID and Selective Eating course, which comes out Wednesday, July 24th. I'll have a launch sale for the first week, so plan to sign up then!

Sending a big hug your way. :)

Catch Marianne Miller, Eating Disorder Therapist, ARFID Therapist, and Binge Eating Therapist on Social Media and on Her Podcast

🌺 Follow my Instagram @drmariannemiller, and you’ll get selective eating and ARFID info and ARFID help sent to your phone with my reels, posts, etc.

Podcast

🌺 Subscribe to Dr. Marianne-Land: An Eating Disorder Recovery Podcast (on Apple, Spotify, etc.), for tips and strategies to help you manage ARFID traits. Hear stories from other eating disorder professionals and folks who are neurodivergent. You are not alone!

Learn more about ARFID and selective eating

🌺 On Wednesday, July 24th, 2024 I’ll be launching a NEW selective eating and ARFID course. Join my email list for the most updated information via announcement emails and my newsletter!