Leaning Into Deep Self-Love to Level Up Your Recovery From Binge Eating, Bulimia, and ARFID.
As an eating disorder therapist and a binge eating and ARFID therapist in San Diego, California, I've been thinking a lot about the role of love and how love can drive many things in our lives. We can feel love for others, so we hug them and tell them and show them how much we care. We can feel love for pets, and so we feed them and play and snuggle with them. We love our special interests (Star Wars for me!) so we spend time and money on them and talk about them a lot.
In the past couple of months, I’ve been exploring another type of love. A deep, soul-level love that transcends challenges in our lives and lifts us up into a higher level of energy…
…let's call it recovery energy.
It can feel really difficult to access such love when you're struggling with an eating disorder. Whether you’re struggling with binge eating, bulimia, anorexia, or ARFID in San Diego, Florida, and NYC, many of you may feel deep shame because there are a lot of behaviors that you do in secret. Such behaviors often don't fit the "social norm" for eating, and there can be much guilt that accompanies it.
I get it. I've been there when I was in the thick of my eating disorder in Colorado, Texas, and California. I've felt overwhelmed with shame, and it seemed difficult to access any sort of self-love during that time.
Here's the thing: love is still there. In her book, The Body Is Not an Apology, Sonya Renee Tayor explains how radical self-love exists inherently within us because of our innate value as humans.
We are born with radical self-love.
So what if we immersed ourselves in it? Meditated on it and spoke about it with family, friends, and colleagues? Envisioned what loving ourselves completely would look like?
What if I asked my clients (and I plan to do so), what loving themselves without limits would feel like? Radical self-love. Recovery energy love. What would they be thinking? What emotions would they be experiencing? What sensations would they feel in their bodies?
We get so bogged down in what is going on in our heads. All of the overthinking and self-criticism that's occurs as we compare ourselves to other people. In doing so, we lose sight of the deep well of love within us.
So what if you used this well of love to drive your eating disorder recovery? Paint a picture in your mind. What would recovery feel like? What would you be thinking? What sensations would you be experiencing? How would love manifest in your life as you live it fully recovered?
It would mean that you have power. Power to achieve what you desire. Power to overcome the challenges life has thrown your way. Power to love yourself and others without limitations.
And you, my love, deserve it.
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Disclaimers for My Work in Body Image, Binge Eating, and My Virtual Online Binge Eating Program
*DR. MARIANNE-LAND’S BINGE EATING RECOVERY MEMBERSHIP PROGRAM is online binge-eating education and private virtual group support via a Facebook Group. The aim of this course is to help people reduce and eliminate any type of distressed eating, such as binge eating or binge/purge behaviors via education, behavioral changes, and mindset shifts. DR. MARIANNE-LAND’S BINGE EATING RECOVERY MEMBERSHIP PROGRAM is not a clinical eating disorder therapy or eating disorder treatment program and is not intended to serve as such. In them, Dr. Marianne Miller works from her role as a binge-eating coach, not as a binge-eating therapist.
**The ELITE BINGE EATING RECOVERY METHOD is virtual binge eating education and LIVE virtual coaching support. The goal of this program is to help people stop any type of distressed eating, such as binge eating or binge/purge behaviors via education, behavioral changes, and mindset shifts. The ELITE BINGE EATING RECOVERY METHOD is not a clinical eating disorder therapy or eating disorder treatment program and is not intended to serve as such. In them, Dr. Marianne Miller works from her role as a binge-eating coach, not as a binge-eating therapist.