Disordered Eating Over the Holidays
The Starbucks holiday cups are out, so we are officially in the holiday season! There are many challenges this time of year, especially when you struggle with disordered eating in California, NYC, Chicago, Colorado, Florida, and elsewhere. There are so many events centered on food and family. How can you navigate potential land mines if you struggle with disordered eating behaviors? Read more for tips from a therapist who offers eating disorder treatment in California.
Events with Food: Utilizing Eating Disorder Treatment to Succeed
You know the Hershey’s Kisses commercial that comes out this time of year where they’re laid out in a shape of a Christmas tree, and they act like bells that ring out the tune of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”? What about the Coca-Cola polar bears? How many associations do you have with food and holidays in advertisements? It’s everywhere.
Okay, now think about holiday events—Thanksgiving, Hanukah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, New Year, work parties, Friendsgiving, Friendsmas, whatever. What is a thread that ties all of these together? Food. It’s everywhere. If you’re in a headspace where food is uncomfortable for you—either you want to restrict it or binge on it—seeing commercials and even thinking about these holidays can be challenging.
What do you need to know about this?
It’s important to remember that feeling uncomfortable or even distressed is common for people in disordered eating recovery. Whether it’s binge eating, bulimia, anorexia, or general distressed eating, it’s tough to feel exposed to so much food. Showing yourself compassion is vital. Hug yourself and ask others for hugs and support, too.
Holiday Takeaway Tip: Eat mechanically (regularly scheduled meals throughout the day) so that you feel nourished when you attend food events.
Events with Family
How many holiday movies have you seen that have to do with crazy family antics? Do any of these lines* sound familiar?
“You’ll shoot your eye out!”
“Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?”
“Do they have Christmas . . . in France? CHRIST . . . MAS.”
“Keep the change, ya filthy animal!”
"Down the chimney? You want me to take the toys down the chimney into a strange house, IN MY UNDERWEAR?"
"Save the neck for me, Clark!"
"Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings."
A common thread in all of these movies is that there is family DRAMA. Art reflects life. Family drama is everywhere. It’s heightened during the holidays primarily for two reasons:
(a) We are spending more concentrated time with family
(b) We have expectations that family time during the holidays should be GOOD (Thank you, Hallmark movies).
The reality is that families are extremely complicated. There are complex layers of relationships with interaction patterns that go back generations. Unhelpful and even painful patterns tend to come up during concentrated times together, as well as when there are family rituals and highlighted events such as weddings, funerals, and yes . . . holidays. Do Uncle David and Aunt Maria always get into a blow-out fight over Turkey at Thanksgiving? That’s a pattern. Does cousin Devon become sulky as Aunt Keisha tries (with futility) to coax him out of his shell? Another pattern.
Struggling with disordered eating and binge eating may impact your emotional side
If you struggle with disordered eating, you may be on the sensitive, intuitive side, so all of these difficult family patterns can feel overstimulating and overwhelming. Emotions run high, so the tendency to rely on eating disorder behaviors increases. How can you handle it? By using coping skills and reminding yourself that there is no perfect Hallmark Family Holiday. It doesn’t exist. Anywhere. Radically accept that sometimes families suck, and take breaks and do self-care when you can. Remember that the holiday season doesn’t last forever.
Holiday Takeaway Tip: Have friends on standby who you can text and talk with during stressful family events. Remember that you can always go outside to get a breath of fresh air or even hole up in a bathroom so you can connect with loved ones outside of your family.
*Want to know these movies? Click here and scroll down for the answer!
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