Slips, Setbacks, and Relapses in Eating Disorder Recovery: How to Keep Going When You Have Anorexia, Bulimia, and Binge Eating Disorder
by Dr. Marianne Miller, San Diego Eating Disorder Therapist in California
Recovery from an eating disorder like anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder in California is a deeply personal and transformative journey, and it’s not without its challenges. For many, the path to healing is marked by slips, setbacks, and even relapses. These moments can feel heavy, discouraging, and tinged with shame—but they are a normal part of eating disorder recovery.
In this post, we’ll explore what slips, setbacks, and relapses mean, why they happen, and how to navigate them with self-compassion. Most importantly, we’ll reframe these moments as opportunities for growth rather than signs of failure.
What Are Slips, Setbacks, and Relapses?
Understanding these terms is the first step toward approaching them with less fear and more clarity.
A slip is a brief return to disordered behaviors or thought patterns. For example, skipping a meal, engaging in negative self-talk, or using a disordered coping strategy might happen in a moment of vulnerability. Slips are usually isolated incidents and don’t derail all the progress you’ve made.
A setback lasts longer. You might notice old patterns creeping in over a week or two, such as avoiding meals, binge eating, or relying on behaviors you worked hard to overcome. While setbacks can feel discouraging, they are temporary and do not erase the work you’ve done in recovery.
A relapse involves a more sustained return to disordered behaviors or mindsets. It might feel as though you’ve gone “back to square one,” but this is never the case. The skills, insights, and progress you’ve made along the way remain with you, even if they feel distant in the moment.
Recovery is not about avoiding every slip, setback, or relapse—it’s about learning how to respond to these moments with resilience and compassion.
Why Do Slips, Setbacks, and Relapses Happen?
Whether you live in Los Angeles, Orange County, or San Diego, eating disorder recovery requires unlearning deeply ingrained patterns and developing new coping mechanisms, which can be challenging for many reasons.
Stress and life changes—both positive and negative—are common triggers. Transitions like starting a new job, moving to a new place, or navigating relationship conflicts can leave you feeling destabilized. In moments of stress, old behaviors may feel like a familiar escape.
Triggers, whether external or internal, can also play a role. External triggers might include hearing a comment about weight, seeing certain media, or revisiting an environment tied to disordered habits. Internal triggers, like shame, loneliness, or anger, can be just as powerful.
Perfectionism often compounds the difficulty. Thoughts like, “I should have this figured out by now,” or “If I can’t do recovery perfectly, I’ve failed,” can turn small missteps into overwhelming challenges.
Finally, there’s recovery fatigue. Healing is demanding, and the mental and emotional energy it requires can leave you feeling depleted. In these moments, old habits may appear to offer temporary relief.
These experiences are not a reflection of your ability to recover; they are simply part of the journey.
Reframing Slips, Setbacks, and Relapses
What if we stopped viewing these moments as failures and started seeing them as feedback?
A slip might reveal a specific trigger you hadn’t noticed before, while a setback could highlight areas where your support system needs strengthening. A relapse, though painful, can serve as a guidepost, pointing out unresolved feelings or situations that need professional attention.
Instead of asking, “Why did I fail?” try asking, “What can I learn from this?” Every challenging moment is an opportunity to deepen your understanding of yourself and your recovery.
What to Do When It Happens
If you’re navigating a slip, setback, or relapse right now, here are some steps to help you move forward:
Pause and Breathe
Take a moment to ground yourself. Use mindfulness practices. Acknowledge that this moment doesn’t define you or your recovery—it’s simply one chapter in a much larger story.Get Curious, Not Judgmental
Ask yourself what led to this moment. What were you feeling, and what needs might have gone unmet? Viewing the situation and your emotions with curiosity instead of judgment creates space for growth.Reach Out for Support
Talk to someone you trust, whether it’s a therapist, coach, friend, or support group. Recovery is not meant to be navigated alone, and sharing your experience can make it feel less overwhelming.Reconnect with Your “Why”
Think about the bigger goals and values that motivated you to start recovery in the first place. Reconnecting with your purpose can help reignite your commitment to healing.Take a Gentle Step Forward
Focus on one small action that supports your recovery, whether that’s nourishing your body with your next meal, journaling, or scheduling an eating disorder therapy session. Every choice matters.
Building Resilience for the Future
To reduce the frequency or intensity of these moments in the future, it’s helpful to focus on long-term resilience.
Start by cultivating a strong support system that works for you. It might include therapy, support groups, or relationships with people who understand and respect your recovery.
Practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a close friend. Harsh self-criticism only keeps you stuck, while self-compassion helps you move forward.
Finally, remember that recovery isn’t about perfection—it’s about persistence. Each time you choose to return to recovery, you reinforce your resilience and your commitment to healing.
Eating Disorder Recovery Is a Journey, Not a Destination
Slips, setbacks, and relapses are not the end of the road; they are simply part of the process. Every step forward, no matter how small, is a testament to your strength and perseverance.
If this resonates with you, know that you are not alone, and you are not defined by your struggles. Recovery is a journey of learning, growing, and continually choosing to heal.
You are worthy of that journey. Always.
Ready to Transform Your Relationship with Food?
I offer comprehensive support for binge eating recovery and bulimia, whether you’re in NYC, London, Dallas, Los Angeles, San Diego, or anywhere in the world. From online courses to personalized coaching and masterclasses, there’s a path that fits your needs and goals.
Explore Your Options for Support:
Binge Eating Membership
Join my Binge Eating Membership, an empowering online program designed for high performers ready to shift their relationship with food. This program includes a self-paced binge eating course paired with email support from me.Elite Binge Eating Recovery Method
For a more intensive experience, the Elite Binge Eating Recovery Method offers a 3-month blend of virtual coaching and educational resources. It’s designed for students, professionals, athletes, and high achievers seeking to regain balance and control.Masterclasses and Online Courses
Dive into focused masterclasses or enroll in my online ARFID class for in-depth education and practical tools to support your journey.Recovery Coaching
Work directly with me as your eating recovery coach. Together, we’ll develop a tailored approach to help you achieve your recovery goals. If needed, I can collaborate with your broader care team, including therapists and other specialists.
Listen and Learn
Tune in to my podcast, Dr. Marianne-Land: An Eating Disorder Recovery Podcast, available on Apple and Spotify. Featuring expert interviews and insights into bulimia, binge eating, ARFID, and mental health, this podcast is your resource for recovery inspiration and empowerment.
Connect with Me on Social Media
Follow me on Instagram @drmariannemiller for bite-sized insights, tips, and inspiration to support your recovery journey.
Disclaimers
The Binge Eating Membership and Elite Binge Eating Recovery Method are education-based coaching programs. They are not clinical eating disorder therapy or treatment programs. In these programs, I operate as a binge-eating coach, not a therapist.
Take the first step toward recovery and balance. Let’s work together!